Tales of the Parodyverse

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Al B. Harper
Mon Jan 24, 2005 at 05:48:41 am EST
Subject
More Avengers/Lair Legion madness...(note: takes place before ks's stories)
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Avengers/LL Madness

The Lab:
Al B. Harper: "…Yellowjacket?"
Giant-Man: "I know…"
Al B.: "I mean, seriously dude, that’s just whack…"
Giant-Man: "I know…can you pass me the quantum ion cannon replicator?"
Al B.: *passes the do-hickey* "I mean, what were you thinking?"
Giant-Man: "That’s the thing, I wasn’t…I was crazy insane at the time."
Al B.: "Can you please pass the escoptic anti-keynsian modulating synapse? And she still married you anyway?"
Giant-Man: *passes the thinggy* "Yes she did. She’s one special lady."
Al B.: "Damn!"

Suddenly, Wonder Man walks into the lab.

Wonder Man: "Dr Harper? I’m Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man. Cap and Hatman have said that an Avenger and an LL’er need to team up to search for the missing items of power, are you already teamed up with anyone?" *he grins insanely*
Al B.: "Err…yes, Giant-Man and I here are already teamed up. Sorry dude."
Giant-Man: "Them’s the breaks."

WonderMan leaves.

Al B.: "Phew. Thanks for the save man."
Giant-Man: "Don’t mention it."

The Parlor:
Sorceress: "So, you went to all that trouble to bring him back, and he just leaves you like that?"
Scarlet Witch: "Yes. Straight back to Hollywood and his “acting.” "
Sorceress: "He sure sounds like a jerk. I mean, anyone with the name “Wonder Man” in the first place sounds like a…oh…Wonder Man, hello."
Wonder Man (who had just walked in at that moment): "Hi, talking about me? Are you one of my fans? Can’t say I’m surprised lovely lady, so you wanna team up to search for these power things, I can tell you all about the making of Arkon IV?"
Sorceress: "Err,…already teamed up with Wanda here…"
Scarlet Witch: *with ice in her voice* "Hello Simon."
Wonder Man: "Oh…right. Well, maybe later I’ll give you my autograph anyway." *he leaves*
Scarlet Witch and Sorceress: "Jerk…"*both laugh*

The Hall:
Mr Epitome and Jack of Hearts are walking past each other, by coincidence. Suddenly, Wonder Man walks past.
Wonder Man: "Say, can I team up with you Mr Epitome?"
Mr E: "Err...no," *grabs Jack of Hearts* "I'm with him. Sorry."
Wonder Man: "Damn...wonder if that hot little chick in the Zorro outfit is free..."*he wanders off*
Mr E: "Phew..."
Jack of Hearts: "You owe me a strong drink for not putting you in it there flag boy!"
Mr E: "Whatever...Card boy."

The Lab:
Suddenly the large computer scream flickers into life. Yuki Shiro appeares on it.
Yuki: "Al B., you there?"
Al B.: "Oh, Yuki, good to see you, this is Dr Hank Pym, from another universe."
Yuki: "Giant-Man from the Avengers? Right, well Al, I just wanted to see if you wanted to “play” later, as I’ll be on a case. Look me up if you do."
Al B.: "Sure, although I don’t know when we’ll be finished here, you gonna be ok?"
Yuki: "Don’t sweat it. I’ll leave you two to talk robotics or whatever. Later."
Al B.: "Bye."
Giant-Man: "What did she mean, talk robotics?"
Al B.: "Oh, err…her idea of a joke I guess, I had a hand in some of her schematics."
Giant-Man: "She’s a robot?"
Al B.: "A cyborg actually."
Giant-Man: "I once made a robot…"
Al B.: "Yes, I know, a crazy guy named Ultron right?"
Giant-Man: "Yes. And you made…a hot purple-haired chick-bot?"
Al B.: "Err,…yes, I guess…"
Giant-Man: "Damn!"

The Library:
Visionary: "No, sorry, I don’t think I can team up with you."
Wonder-Man: "Oh…why not? You didn’t like me in Arkon III did you? That’s what this is about isn’t it?"
Visionary: "Not really…"
Wonder-Man: "That’s ok, you can say it, I know it wasn’t my best work, but the Director just wouldn’t let me take the character the direction I wanted to."
Visionary: "Seriously, this has nothing to do with Arkon III, or any of your other movies."
Wonder-Man: "Really? But, you’re not teamed up with anyone else right? So what can it be?"
Visionary: "Look, I’ll say this once, but don’t take offence. I’m a former member of the AWML…."
Wonder-Man: "The who?"
Visionary: "Sigh…"

The Pool:
PV Sersi (in bikini): "So, good thing I happened to be swinging by the LL for a visit! Otherwise we wouldn’t have met!"
Avengers Sersi (in bikini): "Tell me about it. Although with this pool and butler on hand to mix cocktails I’m not sure why you don’t swing by more often!"
Flapjack: *drools* "Another Pina-Colada Sersis?" *drools some more*
Avengers Sersi: "Ok, now I see why."
PV Sersi: "Uh-huh…just be glad Rocket Raccoon isn’t around. Then you’ll know true insanity."
Avengers Sersi: "I’m all for these team-ups actually. It’s not like I’ve been doing anything in the MU for the last 5 years. And in these team ups I get to have speaking parts!"

Suddenly, Wonder Man walks past.
Wonder-Man: "Anti-Wonder Man League? All this time and no one ever told me?" *sob*

Avengers Sersi: *giggles*
PV Sersi: "Say, you wanna go and see if the Black Knight wants to team up with the both of us?"
Avengers Sersi: *gets a wicked gleam in her eye* "Mmmm…Now you’re talking!"
Flapjack: *falls over* "Damn!"

The End.

Footnotes:

Hank Pym aka Giant-Man aka Yellowjacket aka Ant Man is a somewhat checkered past Avenger responsible for creating the mad robot Ultron. He’s husband to the Wasp, whom he married when he was somewhat insane. http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/g/goliath.htm

Scarlet Witch is the Avengers sorceress. She’s been married to the Vision, and had a love affair with Wonder Man (see below), whom she brought back to life from the dead (the fool). She recently went insane, but this appearance precludes that. http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/s/scarletwitch.htm

Jack of Hearts wears a costume like...a jack of hearts. He also was somewhat insane.

Wonder Man is an insane jerk. Nuff said.

AWML is the Anti-Wonder Man League. A League of anti-wonder man fans. I believe they even have a hq in the Parodyverse that shows up in early UT issues. Some of the members are possibly insane...but I'm not naming names.

Sersi is pretty much the same as the Parodyverse Sersi really. She too had a period of insanity. http://www.geocities.com/brenni_au/SersiProfile.html

Ultron is the mad insane robot created by Hank Pym. http://www.geocities.com/marvel_villains/ultron/ultron.html

The Black Knight is one of the cooler Avengers. He was previously “Gann Josin” or lover to the Avenger Sersi. He's never been insane, but he does fall in love with women he can't have. He’s also the man. http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/b/blackknightiii.htm


Al B. Harper


Sersi's Loft: Home of the Eternals

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